How perfect was Mr. Perfect? He cut promos with the best of them, how exhausted he always looked in long matches with his hair down was classic and swatting his chewed gum into the crowd was cool, but kind of disgusting when you think about it. His biggest accomplishments were being the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion, dubbing Shawn Michaels "The Heartbreak Kid" and beating Ric Flair in the memorable match where the loser had to leave the WWF.
Things weren't as perfect for the man behind the character, Curt Hennig, as shown by the causes behind his 2003 death; cocaine, steroids and painkillers were found in his bloodstream. 9 months earlier, Hennig had gotten in a drunken shoot match with Brock Lesnar while on a plane coming back from a Pay Per View in the UK., which resulted in Hennig being released by the WWF.
If you haven't seen the promo that showcased his athletic (& otherwise) prowess, you are missing out. Here's the link to the video with commentary by wrestlers, etc. followed by, for some reason, my thoughts on it.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=g2_y_bh-p0Y
The vignette starts off with him showing his, uh, diving ability. Wow, look how high he got! And off a board! Imagine if he'd used a trampoline, he'd have hit the ceiling. Man, what an athlete. Perfect.
What the hell? Is that Wade Boggs? Yes, my friends, it is. Boggs, fresh from KFC, wants to show us "the perfect hitter." (Ha, I get it.) Holy crap, did he get ahold of that one! Wow, Mr. Perfect just hit a home run in BP with a softball! Looks like he could easily bat 2nd through 7th in most Sunday morning softball leagues. Perfect.
Wow, I never knew the NHL employed middle schoolers, but there's Mike Modano. Mr. Perfect plays goalie in his free time, I guess. Now, I could just easily say that's someone else playing goalie, with the mask and all, but I won't. I'm here to say that if that one shot had been a few inches to the left, it'd have been one hell of a cup check. Perfect!
Now let's all get drunk and play ping-pong. Some stoolie sets up Mr. Perfect with a lob only to have it launched back at his chest at a ferocious velocity. Really redefining the term "athlete" here, huh? Either the pink pants date the video or he's not just perfect, he's fabulous!
On to some basketball. Obviously it's just his shooting talents on display. The guy looks like he'd be great at a 3 point contest, but little else. The set shot isn't going to cut it in a game. Unfortunately there's only one shot here. Didn't reserve the gym long enough, did ya? Perfect.
After sinking a 40 foot putt, we're apparently off to West Virginia or Pittsburgh for some bowling. A 300 game? Now if you could walk into a bowling alley and roll a perfect game, I'd be impressed. That ridiculous sweat on your back gives away that you've been in that place for a while, doing a lot more than bowling 13 times. Thanks for dressing up, though. Looks like you were out at the clubs when someone came up with the bowling idea. Perfect.
Ah, football. Steve Jordan picks up where Mike Modano left off, brilliant commentary. There's a reason none of these guys have gotten into broadcasting after retirement. What? Modano's still playing? Now that's an athlete. Anyway, Jordan watches as Perfect pumps twice and lets one fly. He waits before taking off to catch his own pass. He must be fast, but we never see it. The camera cuts to four other angles before showing a lob pass fall into a jogging Mr. Perfect. Exaggerated head nod for emphasis andddd cut. Perfect.
Good, more basketball. And holy shit, is that Sgt. Slaughter in a sweater vest? Possibly the highlight of this promo. Perfect looks like he's been hitting the banquet circuit as of late. Way to have confidence in your shot, good thing you stayed in tip top shape, chubs. Yea, about that dunk, what the hell was that? That doesn't count!
Horseshoes, which he'd naturally be good at since Brock Lesnar informs us that, "...he's always got a horseshoe up his ass", darts, billiards, is there no end to his dominance? We haven't really tested the limits of his athleticism here, just so you know. Since, presumably, you didn't follow that link to the YouTube video, here it is again.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=g2_y_bh-p0Y
There's really not much of a point to this post besides the video link, so there.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment