Killing time on a Saturday night

My cute female friend is in bed already and I've got a ton to do, so I'm staying in tonight. At least it'll give you guys (are there girls that read this?) something to read when you come home drunk later. It's not all sports, but last I checked, there's no rules on this blog, it's like an anarchy with integrity. (Just so you know, I've tried to go back a couple times to fix the spacing problems in this but can't figure it out, sorry)

- I was in St. Louis earlier this week for work, and had to take a shuttle from the airport to my hotel. I was in a pretty pissy mood as I'd had a gun pulled on me the previous day at work here in Pittsburgh. Whatever, on the shuttle with me was just one family - mom, dad, 3 sons none of which older than 15. Well, son #2 asks the parents, "What does San Diego mean?" I laughed out loud, it took everything I had not to turn and inform them that the correct answer is "A whale's vagina".
Dad, in all his wisdom, tells his boys that it translates to "Saint James". San Diego=Saint James? Ok... Bet he'd translate his wife's contempt for him into undying love, though I'd guess she's plowing her way through their neighborhood and will take him for everything he's worth in 2 years.

- Getting a gun pulled on me at work? Not fun. I'm moving to Minnesota. At least I'll be able to give an untapped region's viewpoint on all things sport and tundra - Hey Berman, tundra is frozen, stop calling it "The Frozen Tundra", that's like saying "The drunk wino" or "Shitty mainstream rap" - being frozen is part of what makes it tundra. Expect some Aurora Borealis posts this summer.

- I'm convinced tweezers were invented for one of three purposes:
1) Removing splinters
2) Cleaning toenails
3) Roach clips
The lesson being, don't ask to borrow my tweezers.

- I've sent this link to some people already, but for those who haven't seen it, this is one of the greatest skits Will Ferrell ever did:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kShJAEODWMc

- My sis is getting married at the end of April and the DJ doesn't really understand that my family isn't gonna put up with his ideas for music, so they've asked me to put together a lot of music for the reception. Good call. The only relevant question appears to be, will "I can't drive 55" be on that playlist? You know it.
Expect this trend to continue - amateurs putting together playlists for occasions like weddings, etc. As erm can probably testify to, DJs aren't cheap. Why not gather all the music you want to hear, arrange it into playlists, throw it onto an iPod and go to town? There's no reason to pay DJs anymore for this. Hell, if my sister, her man and I can throw together 4-5 hours of wedding reception music, who couldn't? Put this on the list of things I'd do if I were a smart man, along with improving tattoo removal technology (not for me, but for the dumb asses that get some arbitrary ink done), wait, I'm not giving you anymore of my ideas. Come up with your own.

- We've got a new entrant in the "Best Drunk Food" category, joining Pagliai's ((419) 352-7571) stuffed chicken & cheese breadsticks, Taco Bell's Nacho Cheese chalupas and Trader Joe's fresh salsas: D's "Big Ben dog". D's is the hotdog/beer joint I live above. The Big Ben is a dog with nacho cheese, fries & coleslaw. Sub in bacon for the slaw and goodnight!

- Bill Simmons is amazing. He's Gandhi. Gandhi, Mitch Hedberg and MLK Jr. rolled into one. This guy tirelessly takes on all critics and asks nothing in return. Oh, you feel like you've made a well thought out, constructive, unassuming argument to a point of his? Think again.

"Um, I was trying to be funny … I just forgot that we live in a world where you can't joke about anything. This nation is tighter than Meg Ryan's face right now. Loosen up. It's not a crime to joke about the fact that last year's college hoops season sucked so much that the best two players were white. See, basketball has been a predominantly black sport for about 40 years now, a blessing because the game evolved in a vertical direction and became infinitely more entertaining than the product from the late '50s. If you wrote down the best NBA players from the last three decades, you'd probably notice that all of them were black except for Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Steve Nash, Chris Mullin, Dirk Nowitzki and John Stockton.

Now, if last year's best college players were on the level of Bird, Nash and Stockton, it would be one thing. But J.J. Redick and Adam Morrison both flamed out in the tournament and look like potential busts as pros. Hence, my joke in yesterday's blog. For anyone who was offended, I'm sorry … not for the joke, but for the bug up your ass. "

So there. Not only does he somehow find a way to be the last vestige of humor in an unfunny world, he has no problem attacking celebrities' insecurities to prove his abilities. Never mind that the reader's point appeared to be that race doesn't dictate talent or worth, he informs us that only 6 white players in the last 30 years have mattered. So all the other white who have played were pretty bad, huh? But wait, later in the column while discussing the league's current talent level, he says:

"Jemele (Hill) argued that Kobe's current competition is tougher than the teams from 1991-93, which is just plain wrong. There's no comparison. The league sucks (emphasis his) right now."

Did the sport lose all its good players? No, the game has transitioned from a team game where players had defined roles into a me-first, run and gun contest. By no means should you take that as social commentary, but the game and its players' roles have changed. Thank god this world has Bill Simmons to stick up for the right to insult people who wish to dissent from the views of the all knowing sports scribes.

Oh Hell Yea

Yes, yes, yes yes yes! It's going to happen, just as someone in the basement predicted! Florida - OSU Monday at 9. I can't wait! Unless Florida craps the bed, we're gonna see a repeat of the BCS championship game, minus Roy Hall taking out OSU's biggest threat, whoever that is. This is gonna be great. You can beat your ass I'll be watching it in Cleveland, wearing either BGSU or U of M colors.

Oh and yes, I picked Florida over OSU in my bracket, if it happens, I'll take the whole thing.

More on Greg Oden: Just watch these Florida guys play - they pass extremely well, they FIGHT for position, battle for rebounds, these guys want to win. When have you been able to say that about Oden? Sure, his team won, no thanks to him. He's gotta play the game of his life if they're going to beat Florida. Anyone know the spread on this game? I may never have to work again if OSU is favored...

He's like Yinka Dare without the court vision

That's Greg Oden? No, not the headline, that referred to Desagana Diop (I forget who said it), but wow, Oden? This is the first time I've seen him in action all year; hell, the only highlight of his that I've seen was his pancake block that didn't get him tossed earlier in the tourney. Who in his right mind takes this guy first overall?

There is no way I take this guy #1, probably not even top 3! First person that says his wrist is still bothering him so he isn't 100% will never again be allowed to take part in any future debates relating to sports. Is Oden the only guy who is banged up? Have the rest of these guys not played 30+ games? Hell, he didn't even play the whole year! It's been said by everyone else that he lacks intensity, but humor me as I'm in shock that people forecast big things from this guy.

Give me one reason he should go first. Uh, he's black? Piss off, Simmons! Stop with the Ewing/Tim Duncan comparisons, he looks more like LeBron's father with narcolepsy. Unbelieveable, this guy is gonna save somebody's franchise? Baloney. He couldn't save 50 cents with a coupon.

Did the Buckeyes play better with Oden on the floor or the bench? Exactly. You can thank Dan Dakich anytime now for Ron Lewis...

I say three months until the first "Bowling Green" headline

Trent Green? That's the answer to Cleveland's quarterback woes? Wonderful. What possible reason could the Browns have for trading for Trent Green, who will be 37 before the start of the season and is owed $24.1M over the next three years? Aw crap, no! He's obviously a short-term fix (at least it should be obvious) and with everyone realizing Eminem...errr Charlie Frye sucks, it looks to mean only one thing: Brady Fucking Quinn.

Really? You're going to do this to us? Brady Quinn? I'd rather have Bobby Quinn! This draft is top heavy in terms of talent, like the bar below my apartment, and we're going to take a frightened school boy #3 to run our team? Good plan, wouldn't want a backfield with Adrian Peterson and Jamal Lewis, now would we? This year, I've been telling everyone that anything could happen with the top three picks, so it's worthless trying to predict who is going where, but screw Brady Quinn! I'll take David Carr over the money Quinn would get at number 3, not to mention Trent Green's $7.2 this coming year.

Fine, I'll finally say nice about Troy Smith - given the completely theoretical options of:
A.) Signing David Carr for 2-3 years at a discount, drafting Peterson #3 and taking Troy Smith in the 3rd/4th (and just so there's no confusion on how I feel about Smith: Go Blue!), or
B.) Trading away picks for Green and his ridiculous salary, drafting Brady Quinn and giving him another 4-5 million a year...
....There's no doubt I go with A.

At least we'll get to see some doofus grab the #31 "Green" jersey out of their closet, cross out the numbers and draw a "10" on top of them, in a twist of what they'll consider to be irony. (I on the other hand will still wear mine as is, waiting 'til the day Willie Green makes headlines for his inevitable Rae Carruth impersonation)

USC 87
Texas 68

That score is going to be the answer to a trivia question one day. The question: What was the final score of the last game Kevin Durant played in college?

And that's how it ends for Durant. In a loss, a blowout, for one of college basketball's most talented freshmen ever. It didn't end with a national title like Carmelo or Walton. But it did end. In the coming weeks or months Durant is going to announce that he is leaving the University of Texas to enter the NBA Draft. Sure there's a chance that he stays and there's also a chance that I may grow 10 inches while writing this.

This post isn't so much about Durant or Texas (or how they killed my bracket, *cough* Rick Barnes *cough* DJ Augustin) its about college freshmen. Durant and fellow super freshman Greg Oden are going to be one and done in the NCAA. Staying only so long as to meet the requirements of the NBA's age restrictions. There aren't a lot of people out there who feel that Durant or Oden would have ever stepped foot on a college campus if it wasn't for the NBA rules. Durant and Oden suffer from poor timing. Poor timing in that they weren't born two years earlier. Had they been they would have graduated high school before the NBA's rule took effect. Unfortunately for them and the Toronto Raptors they were born a year too late.

The nuts and bolts of the NBA rule is that it prevents American born players from entering the draft until they are 19 or one year has passed since their high school class has graduated. There is an entirely different rule for foreign born players, which is an entirely different story.

The rule (with minor exceptions) only prevents kids going from Prom to the Association. It says nothing about going to college or improving the lives of the student athlete. The NBA doesn't care what these kids do in that year. Go to college, go overseas, play AAU, it doesn't matter as long as you're not playing in the NBA. That's right folks the NBA doesn't give a damn about these kids. Don't let David Stern fool you, he doesn't care about protecting these kids. He only cares about protecting the NBA's interest.

What is the NBA's interest? Free Minor Leagues. What the NFL and NBA have with Major College athletics is a free feeder system. Let the colleges have these kids for at least a year, they can teach them and weed out the ones who aren't ready. This way pro-teams don't have to invest in training younger players and they don't have to risk passing up the next Kobe or Kevin Garnett.

I'm not going to get into the research that suggests that this may be illegal (Ermisch), or that these high school kids many times outperform college seniors once they get to the Association(McCann). Or the role race plays into this. Lets just say this issue is deep and divisive. Don't believe the lies the NBA is selling.

Hey if you got questions i got answers. Comments Bitches!

New stuff

Ryan=MVP

He's basically carried this blog through the month of March.

Check out my other blog at www.blogginwithbull.blogspot.com.

I have begun my Prospect Pulse. I'm reviewing all of the finest prospects I've seen so far in my few years in the minor leagues. I'll try to put at least one prospect on there every day.

I have a few other random notes of interest.

The NFL Draft is rapidly approaching and a few things stand out.

First off, its all well and good that Calvin Johnson has great 40 times with someone else's shoes, a 40 in verticle, and good size at 6'3 or 6'4, 230+lbs. However, I"m not getting too excited about a receiver until I see him play an NFL game.

Think about all the first round flops at that position over the last few years. Johnson looks good now, but he didnt exactly set the world on fire at Georgia Tech. Granted, his quarterback was awful, but still, if he plays in a system that sucks in the NFL (ex: Oakland), it wont matter how great he is.

The Browns are thinking about both JaMarcus Russell and Brady Quinn with that third pick. First of all, Charlie Frye has never really had a chance. He ran for his life in that backfield last year and never had any time to throw. Personally, I dont think he's the answer, but he needs a realistic chance to prove me and everyone else wrong. He didnt have that chance last year in that sorry excuse for an offense.

Next up, if they are at that spot and both quarterbacks are available along with Joe Thomas, and they dont pick Joe Thomas, then this current Browns regime is just as stupid as the first two that came before it. You dont pass up a guy like Joe Thomas who can help IMMEDIATELY with Steinbach and the others.

Not to mention, picking Brady Quinn would be the dumbest thing that franchise could possibly do at this point. You thought he choked under pressure in big games, versus good defenses at Notre Dame?? Just wait til he plays in Cleveland with no offensive line and defenders in his face NON-STOP. He'll have more picks than completions.

I think he's garbage regardless, but if he goes to Cleveland he'll be a bigger flop than Tim Couch.

As for my favorite team, I'm VERY optimistic. They'll get Randy Moss eventually, and they'll draft either Marshawn Lynch in round one, or Kenny Irons in round two. That offense is going to be fun to watch next year. I think they will win the NFC North.

Angry, yet not drunken

We're all waiting for the first drunken, angry post here, but let me assure you that while I'm assuredly ticked, I'm not nearly drunken enough. Still, get ready for disjointed thoughts in no order.

1. The response for updates on my bracket has been overwhelming, and to sum it up, let's just refer back to the original post:

-I only have 7 upsets in the whole thing. 7 in 63 games. This is why I don't do it for money.

Well, needless to say....(If it's needless to say, then why say anything?)

I still have a chance to pick all of the remaining winners. The way I see it, if two certain games in the Sweet 16 go my way, it's all mine. Maybe I should have done it for money.

2. If I could say "Fuck Major League Baseball" I would. But I can't. A couple years ago, someone told me that when you're pissed at someone, write them a letter telling them everything you'd want to say without repercussion, but don't send it. Well, I'm too lazy to do that, so I'll tell you instead.

In the interest of keeping it short and sweet, I'll limit it to one thing. This latest allegation that MLB's deal with DirecTV is slightly shady should be enough to show how little you matter in this whole thing. Regardless if On Demand has matched what MLB is looking for, the league is displaying a reprehensible attitude toward the issue in general. If, as they love to say, they're a business, then this "business" is distributing a soiled product through inadequate media.

"We cannot put the interests of what we believe are a relatively small minority of fans over what we believe are the best interests of the entire fan base as a whole," Bob DuPuy, baseball's chief operating officer, said in a letter to the Federal Communications Commission.

Not only does your comment contradict itself, but your numbers (yea, thanks for not referencing them) don't fit the formula. According to ESPN.com,

"Extra Innings" had more than 500,000 television subscribers last year plus about 60 percent more on MLB.com, the sport's Web site. DirecTV has estimated only about 5,000 "Extra Innings" subscribers would lose access to it on television.

Yea, that's all well and good, but let me put it to you this way. In the last 3 years, I've lived in Cleveland, Boston and Pittsburgh and the fraction of people I've known to have On Demand is probably close to 1/3 of cable subscribers (DirecTV 1/50 at best?). That's a staggering number of people to personally be aware of and MLB is telling me that these "500,000" DirecTV subscribers represent "the entire fan base as a whole"? What, do I only hang around On Demand subscribers? Plus, if you're losing 1% of your customers off the bat, how are you replacing them? People with DirecTV automatically get "Extra Innings" now, right? No? You mean people still have to sign up and pay to get it? THEN WHY'D YOU DUMP YOUR CUSTOMERS IN THE FIRST PLACE? I'm now becoming much more angry than before, yet oddly less drunken.

3. The other night, I went to a movie with a lady from work, just as friends (uh, same reason Billy Zane and Ellen DeGeneres would go as friends) and holy crap was it awesome. Now, let me start off by saying that I haven't been to the movie theater since I saw A Beautiful Mind (Fahrenheit 9/11 doesn't count, it's not really a movie) so I wouldn't be kept abreast of revolutions in the movie theater industry, but wow, this place was seriously somewhere you'd take someone on a date.

It was a matinee on a Monday, but who cares. The two of us spent a total of 23 bucks on "V.I.P." seats which, in addition to the spacious (and empty) reclining leather seats from the best view, but also a coupon worth $3.50 off food. We'd already planned to eat there at the theater (a proposition which had me worried), but damn, was it worth it. The full bar and restaurant on the second floor above the lobby was tremendous and comfortable. Good food from a pretty full lunch/dinner menu was surprising, plus the lounge and cocktail areas blew my mind, even though the place was dead at 4:30 on a Monday. Is this kind of setup common? Seriously, the place didn't feel at all like a movie theater until I'd turn 90 degrees left and see the 30 foot tall coke bottle and popcorn tub reaching up from the concession stand below. By the way, it was a Loews Cinema - what the hell is a cinema?

Again, I have no idea how common this stuff is, but if I were the dating type, this would be way up the list of things to do.

4. Today at work, I'm told that I need to tone down the ripping on Pittsburgh so much, some people are "taking it the wrong way". Uh, there's pretty much only one way to take it, you're Pittsburgh. Name one redeeming quality about everyday life in Pittsburgh, it's harder than naming 3 songs by Kiss (and how many of you can come up with "Detroit Rock City" as #2?).

Don't think I don't know what it's like to have my hometown hated by outsiders. Now that's why I was originally angry.