Ushering in an era of bad puns

The future is not bright, Clevelanders. Besides TheBron, the city's most marketable pro athletes are Grady & Brady. The Indians should prohibit cross promotions with other teams just to make sure their star isn't subjected to the mocking that Quinn's going to get. I've never understood Marketing as a major in college, I feel like just acknowledging that the Grady/Brady connection exists earns me course credit.

Laura Quinn embarassed, changes name

I fell asleep one pick before it happened, thankfully. If I'd been awake for this, we'd be looking at buying a new TV. After making a brilliant selection with their first choice, Joe Thomas, the Browns saw Brady Quinn and figured, "Aww, look how sad he is. Hey Romeo, we need help at a lot of positions, but is it cool if we screw the team and give up a 1st and a 2nd round pick for a guy 21 teams already passed on? Seriously, he wasn't good enough for us take when it was our turn, but look, he's really sad."

Treeeemendous. Many fans wanted him, making the argument that "He'd be the face of the franchise that we've been waiting for." I'm sorry, we've had a team for the last 8 years, you've had the opportunity make any of the players passing through town the "face of the franchise". So much for no one player being bigger than the team. And how is this guy the face of the franchise? He's not even the face of his family.

"He fits the mold of the person you want representing your team." Whoa boy, let's take a look at this mold. Average accuracy, average arm, easily rattled, falters in big games, proven winner on NO level. Not exactly an impressive skill set. What has this guy done to justify the hype he's gotten? May as well check out his "intangibles". Uh, he's white. And religious. And possibly gay. Looks like JP Losman. Oh wait, he played for Charlie Weis. So we're using the argument that because he played for a good coach, then he must be a good player? That's all well and good until the numbers and game film prove differently. If Weis couldn't win a big game with this guy in college, how are the Browns going to win with him? He's "groomed for the NFL". So he's a brainless dolt who has been trained for this? Great, wouldn't want a dynamic individual who could think on his own. Shoot, I'm being a spoilsport, he's the "face of the franchise" (I'm going to use that term in everyday situations, and it's not necessarily a compliment). This is one hell of a long, incoherent paragraph but I'll sum it up by guessing this guy isn't going to be very popular with non-Caucasians.

Wait til this tall drink of water holds out. I know a lot of Browns fans have already jumped on the Brady Quinn bandwagon, but he's still far behind Bobby and Buckner on my favorite "Quinn" list. If he ever dares argue, "I'm a Top 5 talent, everyone said so. I deserve Top 5 money," the Browns had better laugh in his friggin face. "Top 5, huh? Then why did we have to save your ass from falling like a bridesmaid's dressing on wedding night? 21 teams didn't want you. Hell, even the Dolphins took Ted Ginn and not you. Piss off."

I'd bet anything that someone on the team jacks this guy in the mouth before the first game of the season. Best odds are it being Joe Thomas. Wait til Quinn sees how much less he'll get paid and lets it slip one day at practice that he thinks he's better than Thomas. The Bass Master will put him in his place.

If I understand this correctly, the Browns used three 1st rounds picks, one 2nd rounder, a 3rd and a 6th and got 3 players out of it. 6 picks to take 3 players. Unbelievable.

We're back

Finally, day one of the draft is over. For the past 3 months, we've had to put up with all the speculation on which team would take who, blah, blah, blah. I'm about take an unpopular stance on the whole pre-draft hype; I don't like it. If someone wants to do one or two columns or shows about possible draftees and team needs, etc., then fine. But for reporters, columnists and broadcasters to repeatedly guess as to who's going where, a player's "ceiling" and all that bull - it's a lack of creativity. Radio show after radio show, day after day, it's all speculation by hosts, then we get the callers, "We need to take Brady Quinn/Adrian Peterson/Calvin Johnson." Just stop with all this!

Tony Grossi of the The Plain Dealer has column where readers write in with "questions". Now instead of asking about relevant information like (and I'm about to paraphrase Chris Mortenson), "How do you feel the departure of 49'ers assistant Norv Turner will impede the progress of QB Alex Smith?", the letters the past 2 weeks have been about readers finding someone to agree with them. "...I think the Browns should draft Adrian Peterson...What do you think?" or "How can they not take Brady Quinn... Am I right?" Tony Grossi gets paid for turning in these columns, what a joke.

This will be the first in a series of posts tonight, probably. I've been extremely busy and am finally free to jump back online after a long hiatus. If anyone actually reads this, sorry, we'll get better.

"We"? Damn right!

I gave Mr. Bull a heads up that I was going to be commenting on this, so don't think I'm attacking him, we simply disagree on this and being drunk in a basement is the best way to debate sports, isn't it?
In his Opening Day post, the man said:

"Florida has no shot, it wont even be close, nobody can beat "us"." In basketball, I really dont give a shit. That last comment makes me laugh. "Us", wait a sec, how many fucking tackles did you make?? How many yards did YOU rush for?? "Us" We"??? I dont fucking think so. You arent a part of the team, so dont refer to your favorite team as "we" its retarded.

I understand this argument completely; fans don't take the field, nor does the outcome directly depend upon the performance of supporters. Now were it that simple, yea, I'd agree - but it's not, and I don't.

For the ease of my argument, since I'm lazy, just play along and pretend I'm responding to a professional athlete who has made these points, since some have done so in the past.

How many tackles did I make? How many yards did I rush for? That's the only way for me to be a part of this team? Really? All right then, I've got some questions for you, big shot...

- How loyal are you to your team? You're going to be back when your contract runs up, right? You say that you love playing in front of these fans, well prove it. Oh, that's right, you're going after the money, the biggest offer you can get. What happened to you being a part of your team? You sir have no team, you are a mercenary.

- Who am I going to root for when you leave? Oh yea, the next guy! Get it through your head, doesn't matter who is wearing that jersey, the fans want the team to succeed. Christ, it could be a 700lb gorilla and he'd be playing in front of a raucous sell out crowd.

- When was the last time you sat outside for three hours in the dead of winter to support a team? You think that's easy? Oh, it's cold down on the field? TRY PAYING 50 DOLLARS AND SITTING 500 FEET UP IN THE WIND!!! There's no place to go to get warm. Want to use the pisser? Get ready to stand in line for twenty minutes!

- How do you support the team? You just get on the field and perform and think that's it I bet. Sir, WE are the people who defend you guys to the death even though you probably don't deserve it. We get in fights, kicked out of bars, get tattoos, decorate our homes/cars/bodies, and hell, even name children after you just because we love the teams we cheer for.

- Who is paying you? Me! Think I don't factor into this equation? Would all professional athletes be playing these games if not for people like me paying them? Not a chance. This is a symbiotic relationship. By the way, you need me more than I need you.

- How long are you going to care about this team? Sure, you may have fond memories of playing for certain teams, but you'll move on. Not fans. Except for the bandwagon fans, we're in it for the long haul. We'll move around, put up with horrible owners & terrible decisions, heartbreaking losses, personnel changes and a lot more but we'll keep coming back. Why? Because WE care. This is more the fans' team than yours.

So to recap, my career stats are pretty empty, but so is your heart.

This is pretty incoherent, but give me a break, I've driven nearly 1800 miles in the past couple days and am kind of out of it. I'll edit this when I've got time.

Opening Day

In the past, I've been known as an extreme critic of the game of baseball. For years in college I followed college hoops and had the opportunity to talk to coaches, call games, and take in the atmosphere. For years, I thought college basketball was great.

If you would have told me that Opening Day in the MLB would mean more to me than the National Championship game five years ago, I would have told you that you were nuts. However, the former was the case this week.

I've completely lost interest in college basketball. I watched absolutley none of the games on final four weekend, and I watched maybe thirty seconds of the National Championship game. Worse yet, I really didnt care.

To be honest, if I had not been at work during the game, I may have watched VERY little more, but not much. I have simply lost interest in the game.

Opening Day this year, meant a lot more. There is something about opening day that cannot be explained. It goes beyond the ladies and their spring wardrobes being brought out for the first time.

It goes beyond the smell of the ballpark dogs, the incoherent conversation you have with one of the local legends at the park who has built their legacy on their inebriated reputation. The sense of spring is always pleasant when a great game comes with it.

Opening day is a gateway to the summer time. Longer nights, great weather, great times. Dont get me wrong, I havent had a life outside of baseball to enjoy anything outside the sport in five years, but I still understand what opening day means.

And to me, it means a lot more than the college basketball season, which I no longer have any interest in. I wanted to see Ohio State lose to Florida in football. Mainly because so many stupid ass Ohio State fans kept saying "Florida has no shot, it wont even be close, nobody can beat "us"." In basketball, I really dont give a shit.

That last comment makes me laugh. "Us", wait a sec, how many fucking tackles did you make?? How many yards did YOU rush for?? "Us" We"??? I dont fucking think so. You arent a part of the team, so dont refer to your favorite team as "we" its retarded.

Opening Day for the WV Power is only a day away, I cannot wait.

You are the Yankees

So, remember when I said I'd be wearing my Michigan or BG attire during tonight's game? I lied. My dad went out and bought us both Florida shirts, hell yea! Sure, we took a little ribbing at the bar, but not what we would have put up with were the Buckeyes actually better than the Gators. The most annoying guy was the 60-70 year old guy bitching, "What is that? What is that?" That sir, is the shirt of the team that you've been unable to beat in the only games that matter. That's what that is.

Love how fans of teams (as much as I'd love to single out OSU supporters, I'm not that naive) will find any excuse for their team sucking up the joint. Caught parts of the game in multiple places with different crowds and the excuses ranged from "We're a football school" to "Their guys caught fire from outside and ours didn't". Well, good to see that the Buckeyes still can't admit that the better team won. It's that simple.

I firmly believe that Thad Matta's mindset was, "Ok, we've got Greg Oden, and while none of their guys can take him one-on-one, they're going to exploit our small lineup and pound the ball inside, trying to draw fouls on Oden." Well, Billy Donovan pretty much said, "Yea? Keep thinking that, as a whole, we've got the best interior players in the nation, buuuuut, we'll stick with the outside game tonight." The Bucks weren't prepared for anything but what they'd planned for and couldn't/refused to adapt.

How many times did I hear that the Buckeyes "dominated" the game? Too many. Was I watching the same game? Looked to me like Florida was passively letting Oden get his numbers and trading OSU's 2 point buckets for their own 3's. Thankfully the shots were falling, but do you doubt that there were backup plans in place in case this wasn't working?

My buddy said, "OSU killed the Gators in the first five minutes of the game." Too bad they play 40 minutes. The only score that matters is after the final gun; why not draw OSU into a comfort zone, see what they're going to give and exploit it? Also, while you were "killing them", your lead maxed out at 5. Massacre, huh?

Gee, you're the biggest school in the country and you've got the largest sports budget... Think you could win one championship in 5 years in a major sport? (Yea, I already know you'll come back with, "It's more recent than Michigan." To which I say, "Not only is Mich not my favorite school, but unlike most of your fans, I don't need championships to support my teams. I'll stick with them even when they don't win.")

This takes us back to the headline. You are the Yankees. Spend money, win regular season games - but nothing that matters. Everyone hates you, but you believe you're the trendsetters, the greatest creation since the doorbell (according to Sonic). Think about that and tell me why you're proud of your team.

Quick Thoughts on the National Title Game

1. Joakim Noah is a stiff. That's it, he's not even the poor man's Anderson Varejao. He's more like a homeless Scott Pollard. Way to show up for a national title game and score 8 points on 1-3 shooting and have 4 fouls. Yet he's still on the front page of ESPN.com. Go figure.

2. I think Greg Oden is ready for the NBA, or at the very least as ready as anyone else in the country. Here's his line; 25 points on 10 of 15, 12 reb. and four blocks. All of this while being guarded by three different players who are all likely top 15 picks in the draft. Not only did he outplay each of Florida's big men he dominated them on both sides of the court. If he didn't have to play one on five for 40 minutes it probably would have been even better.

3. This game illustrates everything that is wrong with college basketball. College basketball has turned into a glorified 3 point contest. That's what this game was, that's the difference in the game. Why not just roll out the racks and have each team pick five guys and we'll see who can make the most threes.

College basketball has to do one of two things; get rid of the line or move it back to NBA range. People wonder why there are no great big men in the game anymore. This is why. Its a three point contest. Hell the best player in the country was 6'11'' and spent most of his time shooting threes. Move the line back bring some skill back, open up the middle, spread the floor and then you might have a test of who the best teams are. And maybe a product people care about for more than a month out of every year.