Gorilla Marketing

Gorilla Marketing

In response to my colleague’s dissertation on the Gorilla Lineman in the NFL, I’d say no way in hell does the Player’s Union allow this to happen. Gorillas traditionally are mean, angry, and bitter beings. I think it would be safe to say that players’ lives would be in danger if they are competing against something that legitimately could be referred to as a beast. Gorilla’s don’t just sit on rocks and eat bananas, they claw, they mash, and they crush…….much like a 12 year old fat kid at the buffet.

Regardless of the Gorilla’s intent, a 700 pound beast should not be permitted to play with others. You’re talking about a 700 pound animal lying on a pile with other humans that are at the very least 350 pounds lighter. I don’t think there is any way the player’s union would go for it.

Here is a question, if he intercepts a pass, can you grab the hair on his arms or legs to rip him down??

I think this would be one hell of a marketing tool for the NFL and as much as Rodger Goodell would love to have this guy on the field for viewing, advertising and marketing purposes, there is no way the rest of the players would suit up and play against the beast.

Speaking of the Raiders, why would they need to draft a Gorilla?? Don’t they have enough of those out in the crowd for their home games?? That’s not meant to be a derogatory or racial comment, I’m being serious. You have maniacs that suit up in L.O.D. type uniforms who are accountants, fathers and attorney’s during the day, then they transform into ear biting, face painting Neanderthals on Sundays. I haven’t seen that kind of transformation since Maximus Prime in his prime. I guess there’s more than meets the eye there………get it???

--BULLUS