What is with these kids?

All three of these kids play(ed) for Hoover High school in Alabama. Two of the three have the same haircut. Let me refraze that, every teenage boy in the town has the same damn haricut. I don't get it. How does an entire town decide to have the same haircut?

I mean its there are fads (who didn't have lines shaved into their head growing up? I know i did), But how does a town decide to all have a haircut that hasn't been cool since, oh say 1962.

If you can't tell from the picture, cause it is a shitty one. Two-thirds of that photo has the long swooping bangs that the Beatles had when they played at Shea.

Really, this boggles my mind how a small town in Alabama can share a love for emo bangs. And where did this come from? What was (to borrow from Gladwell) the tipping point for the bangs? Did "We are the Beatles" become really popular two years ago in Alabama.

SALISBURY STEAK, ETHICS AND RATINGS

Now tell me that isn’t the craziest three-way combination outside the porn industry? Ok, enough of the dirty talk, its time to get down to business. Before we begin, I need to take a shot at reality television. C’mon, I take more shots than Ted Kennedy when it comes to reality TV. Apparently the new big one on NBC involves a bunch of average Americans dancing their way to Broadway stardom in front of Olivia Newton John. Tell me that as a male, you don’t check your masculinity at the door when you audition. How can you explain yourself to your boys at the Super Bowl party when you tell them that you cant put in for pizza because you lost your job after quitting to try and become the next male superstar in the Broadway musical “Grease” and fell flat on your face?. Exactly no excuses offered, and none accepted. GARBAGE. Sounds like a slippery proposition to me

Lets move on to some Salisbury steak….gravy. Everyone in the blogging world wants to jump on Sean Salisbury because he slipped and said “jew” instead of “chew”. Look, the guy made his statement and he’s sticking to it. He said chew, and contrary to prior belief, chew did have something to do with that dissertation on Peyton Manning. He talked about killing and CHEWING the clock, so YES, he meant to say it. Since when has Sean Salisbury been mistaken for Mark Furman or Adolf Hitler? The guy isn’t an anti-Semite who hates minorities, leave him alone. Do we really need to jump on this guy for slightly mis-pronouncing a word?? Leave the guy alone. Like it or not, he’s opinionated, he’s colorful, exciting to watch and he’s one of the hardest working guys on ESPN’s NFL crack staff. Leave the guy a lone.

This article here.. http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=2831037 made me laugh. Apparently the National Restaurant Association is angry because Nationwide Insurance’s commercial featuring Kevin Federline poses an unfair stereotype of restaurant workers that work the fry station. Ask most of the guys that work these stations around the world if they’d love to trade places with or be confused with K-Fed. Most of those guys/girls would be honored in some way. I mean c’mon, have you been to a fast food restaurant lately? I cant remember the last time I went to a local fast food joint and seen the guy working the good old grease pot with his pants higher than his boxers or his hat worn properly. I’ve got no problem with it, to each their own, but to say that this is an unfair stereotype is ridiculous.

Look, if you’ve seen me lately, you know I’ve got mad respect for the National Restaurant Association, God knows I’ve done my fair share to keep them in business by expanding my waistline. Why are these guys surprised by the fact that someone is ripping the fast food industry? Its not like they’re mocking the head chef who’s cooking gourmet dishes for the white-collar elite. Do you think anybody actually wants to be the head fry guy at your local fast food joint? Absolutely not. The story is ludicrous, if everyone had a complaint about the ethics in the Super Bowl commercial then the complaints would never end.

If ethics of Super Bowl commercials really mattered then the NAACP would have been all over Budweiser for stereotyping a group of African American Males calling each other while the game is on and screaming wuuuuuuuuuuuzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!! Its funny, you’re allowed to poke fun at each other in commercials, that’s why those who aren’t even football fans watch the big game. Relax, it really isn’t that big of a deal.

Although if you are Kevin Federline, how awful has life gotten for you? You go from fulfilling every man’s dream of marrying Brittney Spears and wearing jump suits that say “pimps” at the reception to being the butt of every lead joke on late night talk shows to failing miserably in the music industry, to this??? Wow. Maybe being Brittney’s baby’s daddy doesn’t have its benefits.

Finally, as my partner eluded to before, the NHL All Star Game on a Wednesday makes about as much sense as putting Gary Coleman, the midget from Jackass and Paris Hilton on the interior of the Cleveland Browns’ offensive line. This story here… http://www.usatoday.com/sports/columnist/hiestand-tv/2007-01-28-hiestand-weekend_x.htm is laughable.

How in the world do you fail to draw fewer than half a million viewers for this game? The ratings for this game are down 82% from 2000. That’s insane, it almost sounds like a Conan O’Brien in the year 2000 skit…..In the yeeeeeeeeear twoooooo thousaaaaaaaaaaaand…the NHL All Star Game will draw fewer than half a million viewers and be outdrawn by HGTV’s Design on a Dime, The Food Network’s Ace of Cakes, and re-runs of the Andy Griffith show, officially placing NHL in GOMER’S PILE!! BOOOOOOOM!!!!

I used to love the NHL, but I don’t get the “Versus” network and I have completely lost interest in the game. How much more will it take for Canadian fans to start hating it? Something has to change, and I’m not quite sure what it is. I don’t care if the game is more exciting as the experts say it is. Hell the dialogue in porn may be improving, but it doesn’t matter if only 10% of the population has access to the playboy or spice channels. They have to get this sport back on a cable station with some kind of reputation. Too many of us don’t have access to the station its currently on, and most of us have lost interest. Its time for a change. I’ve had enough fun for one night.

Gorilla Marketing

Gorilla Marketing

In response to my colleague’s dissertation on the Gorilla Lineman in the NFL, I’d say no way in hell does the Player’s Union allow this to happen. Gorillas traditionally are mean, angry, and bitter beings. I think it would be safe to say that players’ lives would be in danger if they are competing against something that legitimately could be referred to as a beast. Gorilla’s don’t just sit on rocks and eat bananas, they claw, they mash, and they crush…….much like a 12 year old fat kid at the buffet.

Regardless of the Gorilla’s intent, a 700 pound beast should not be permitted to play with others. You’re talking about a 700 pound animal lying on a pile with other humans that are at the very least 350 pounds lighter. I don’t think there is any way the player’s union would go for it.

Here is a question, if he intercepts a pass, can you grab the hair on his arms or legs to rip him down??

I think this would be one hell of a marketing tool for the NFL and as much as Rodger Goodell would love to have this guy on the field for viewing, advertising and marketing purposes, there is no way the rest of the players would suit up and play against the beast.

Speaking of the Raiders, why would they need to draft a Gorilla?? Don’t they have enough of those out in the crowd for their home games?? That’s not meant to be a derogatory or racial comment, I’m being serious. You have maniacs that suit up in L.O.D. type uniforms who are accountants, fathers and attorney’s during the day, then they transform into ear biting, face painting Neanderthals on Sundays. I haven’t seen that kind of transformation since Maximus Prime in his prime. I guess there’s more than meets the eye there………get it???

--BULLUS

Random Question

Here's something from my old blog that was never satisfactorily answered. Probably because no one read the old blog. This is a question from a Chuck Klosterman book. I throw it open to anyone to answer. Drew feel free to throw in a response.

Genetic engineers have developed a super gorilla. The animal cannot speak but it has a sign language vocabulary of over 12,000 words, it has an IQ of around 85 and it has a sense of self awareness. The animal (who weighs 700 lbs.) has developed a fascination with football. The gorilla aspires to play professionally and quickly develops into a rudimentary defensive end. Mel Kiper Jr. says that the gorilla is virtually unblockable and would record almost 6 sacks a game. However, the gorilla might be susceptible to draws, counters and other trick plays. The gorilla has made it clear that he would never intentionally injure his opponent. You are the commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow the gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

Wait its Wednesday

Did you know that tonight is the NHL all-star game? No? Neither did i and i love hockey. Well that was before Gary Bettman and the Union destroyed any one's interest who doesn't live North of the 49th. How bad has it gotten for hockey? So bad that the league is televising its all-star game on a Wednesday on a station best known for showing the Tour de France. That's bad. Ratings worse than women's softball is worse. But the worst thing that the league has done, especially since returning from the lockout, is the bastardization of the all-star game.

Truth be told, the game has improved since the end of the lockout. More wide-open, more scoring, hell there's even a shootout. Shit the ratings aren't even that bad, (if you combine the viewership of the NHL in the U.S. and Canada it is greater than the combined viewership of the NBA. Which means the game is insanely popular in Canada.) and attendance is at an all time high. So what the hell is the problem?

Rory Fitzpatrick. Who? Rory Fitzpatrick is a middle of the road defenseman for the Vancouver Canucks. Early this season there was an underground, Internet movement to get him elected to the all-star team. Support swelled and it looked like Rory would make the squad. That was until the NHL stepped in. In the final announcement of the lineups before the game, Fitzpatrick was some votes short of making the team. Something was amiss. Where did Rory's votes go? As it turns out the NHL stole them. There's a mountain of evidence building, and this had been touched on in more detail in other places. http://deadspin.com/sports/nhl/final-proof-mostly-the-nhl-rigged-the-allstar-vote-229922.php Needless to say, the NHL has taken the all-star game away from the people it belongs to, the fans.

BOOO NHL!

At least Two Drunk in a Basement

Let me be the second one to post on this fantastic new blog.

My other blogs are available for a small price at www.blogginwithbull.blogspot.com

Let me begin by saying the creation of this site is fantastic. Three drunk in a basement derives from an old NBA commercial where Samuel L. Jackson (HOW'S IT TASTE MUTHF**KA!?!) watches and reacts excitedly towards three guys playing horse. His classic line in there is..."THREE GUYS PLAYING HORSE........ITS FAAAAAAAAAAANTASTIC!!!!" Then a guy puts up a RIDICULOUS unorthodoxed hook shot and Sammy L. Responds with "GOOOOOD MUTHUF**KIN CHOICE MUTHUF**KA!!" just kidding, he gives him an "OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" It was the NBA marketing dept's way of keeping people excited about the game, without playing the game.

The creator of this site recited a similar line when he, me and another guy were watching TV in an inebriated state. His line was "Three Drunk Guys in a Basement.......its FAAAAAAAAAAANTASTIC!!!!!" Very humorous.

I've got nothing else informative to say, but I will soon, so keep reading.

--BULLUS

Welcome

Welcome to three drunk guys in a basement, at the moment it is just one guy who is not drunk. But, hopefully in the next couple days we can round out a roster of contributors, who may or may not be drunk.