Covering the Tim Couch/steroid story in four easy steps:
Tim Couch took steroids.
These steroids tend to improve one's physical aptitude.
Tim Couch sucked.
Where would he have been without steroids?
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
The NFL Cares More About Dogs than People!
Here it is, the mandatory Mike Vick post. After all it is, according to Bob Ley, the biggest story in the News today (on a day the Attorney General resigned).
Let me take a different view on this thing and question the NFL as well as the public's priorities. First off I'm a dog owner and a dog lover. Second, lets get some things straight. Vick plead guilty to conspiracy to transport dogs over state lines for the purpose of dog fighting, not killing dogs or even dog fighting. All that needs to be shown to sustain a conspiracy charge is that two or more people commit some acts in furtherance of a crime.
As an illustration for there to be a conspiracy to rob a bank two people need only commit acts that might lead to robbing a bank. Lets say they buy guns and talk about plans to rob the bank and steal a car to use as the getaway car. Good enough for a conspiracy. They don't need to actually rob the bank.
Conspiracy charges are in general less difficult to prove than an actual crime.
So with that said lets not go calling Mike Vick a dog killer just yet. Even in the statement of facts Vick submitted with his plea agreement, at most Vick admits to being complicit in the deaths of 8-10 dogs in April of 2007. For arguments sake lets say that Vick had one or two of his boys, either Q or Peace, kill these dogs. Forget all that nonsense about electrocution and hanging, do you think a $130 million dollar Quarterback is getting his hands dirty like that, no he's having his boys do it.
Even the worst case (that Vick himself killed some dogs), should not elicit the response that it has from the NFL.
In the Goddell era, the NFL has quickly become Stalinist USSR in the way punishment is meted out. Take for example everyone's favorite wrestler, Pac-man Jones. Arrested a bunch of times, never once convicted of any charge. Suspended for the year. Its not that I think that Pac-man is a good guy (he's probably not) nor do I think he's blameless ( who makes it rain and asks for the money back?). Here's my beef, HE WAS NEVER CONVICTED. It is against the law to even ask on a job application if you have ever been arrested. And Pac-man got a year suspension.
What's Vick gonna get? A year, after his sentence is up. Its not that Vick doesn't deserve to be suspended, he does. But for a whole year. Take a look at two other examples where the NFL's punishment was less severe and the public outcry far less.
Leonard Little, former Rams' DE. Suspended eight games in 1999 after he plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter after he KILLED a woman while drunk driving. Six years later he picked up another DUI. He's still in the league.
NFL poster boy Ray Lewis plead guilty to obstruction of justice in a double homicide. That's right Ray's boys stabbed to people outside of a club in Atlanta before the Super Bowl. That's two dead people.
So lets do a quick count three dead people 8 game suspension, possible 10 dogs one year suspension maybe more.
Let me take a different view on this thing and question the NFL as well as the public's priorities. First off I'm a dog owner and a dog lover. Second, lets get some things straight. Vick plead guilty to conspiracy to transport dogs over state lines for the purpose of dog fighting, not killing dogs or even dog fighting. All that needs to be shown to sustain a conspiracy charge is that two or more people commit some acts in furtherance of a crime.
As an illustration for there to be a conspiracy to rob a bank two people need only commit acts that might lead to robbing a bank. Lets say they buy guns and talk about plans to rob the bank and steal a car to use as the getaway car. Good enough for a conspiracy. They don't need to actually rob the bank.
Conspiracy charges are in general less difficult to prove than an actual crime.
So with that said lets not go calling Mike Vick a dog killer just yet. Even in the statement of facts Vick submitted with his plea agreement, at most Vick admits to being complicit in the deaths of 8-10 dogs in April of 2007. For arguments sake lets say that Vick had one or two of his boys, either Q or Peace, kill these dogs. Forget all that nonsense about electrocution and hanging, do you think a $130 million dollar Quarterback is getting his hands dirty like that, no he's having his boys do it.
Even the worst case (that Vick himself killed some dogs), should not elicit the response that it has from the NFL.
In the Goddell era, the NFL has quickly become Stalinist USSR in the way punishment is meted out. Take for example everyone's favorite wrestler, Pac-man Jones. Arrested a bunch of times, never once convicted of any charge. Suspended for the year. Its not that I think that Pac-man is a good guy (he's probably not) nor do I think he's blameless ( who makes it rain and asks for the money back?). Here's my beef, HE WAS NEVER CONVICTED. It is against the law to even ask on a job application if you have ever been arrested. And Pac-man got a year suspension.
What's Vick gonna get? A year, after his sentence is up. Its not that Vick doesn't deserve to be suspended, he does. But for a whole year. Take a look at two other examples where the NFL's punishment was less severe and the public outcry far less.
Leonard Little, former Rams' DE. Suspended eight games in 1999 after he plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter after he KILLED a woman while drunk driving. Six years later he picked up another DUI. He's still in the league.
NFL poster boy Ray Lewis plead guilty to obstruction of justice in a double homicide. That's right Ray's boys stabbed to people outside of a club in Atlanta before the Super Bowl. That's two dead people.
So lets do a quick count three dead people 8 game suspension, possible 10 dogs one year suspension maybe more.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
I'm starting to question that school
Admittedly, I've made a bit of a jump onto the Florida Gator bandwagon over the last few years. I wasn't much of a fan growing up, but somehow they started providing teams that I found myelf rooting for. Here in 2007, the basketball and football teams provided me great glee, winning each of their respective sport's championships over The Ohio State University.
At the time of the deals, the numbers involved struck me as ridiculous, much too high for coaches. Seeing it again, it really is newsworthy:
Donovan was awarded a six-year, $21 million contract, averaging $3.5 million. At $3.25 million a year, Meyer's deal is $19.5 million for six years — a far cry from his $55,000 salary as receivers coach at Notre Dame seven years ago.
And heck, it's not just those two, the school's AD, Jeremy Foley...
...signed an 11-year deal in June, worth up to $1.2 million a year, making him the highest paid in the nation at his position.
Holy crap, 8+ mil a year for those 3! School president, Bernie Machen, what do you have to say for yourself?
"We're sort of riding a wave right now — we're just hoping it doesn't end," the president says. "Gator Nation is really happy right now.
Good for you guys, Go Gators! High times for everyone, right?
"Now, the faculty's not too happy. They think I'm paid too much. They think everybody's paid too much — except them. The sad thing is that in a year where we have record salaries for (Billy Donovan and Urban Meyer), we're having a faculty hiring freeze and there will be no raises because of the state budget. It just kind of comes at a bad time."
No kidding. The teacher's ain't happy? Who woulda thunk it? And did you imply that the teachers really are paid appropriately? Huh.
At the time of the deals, the numbers involved struck me as ridiculous, much too high for coaches. Seeing it again, it really is newsworthy:
Donovan was awarded a six-year, $21 million contract, averaging $3.5 million. At $3.25 million a year, Meyer's deal is $19.5 million for six years — a far cry from his $55,000 salary as receivers coach at Notre Dame seven years ago.
And heck, it's not just those two, the school's AD, Jeremy Foley...
...signed an 11-year deal in June, worth up to $1.2 million a year, making him the highest paid in the nation at his position.
Holy crap, 8+ mil a year for those 3! School president, Bernie Machen, what do you have to say for yourself?
"We're sort of riding a wave right now — we're just hoping it doesn't end," the president says. "Gator Nation is really happy right now.
Good for you guys, Go Gators! High times for everyone, right?
"Now, the faculty's not too happy. They think I'm paid too much. They think everybody's paid too much — except them. The sad thing is that in a year where we have record salaries for (Billy Donovan and Urban Meyer), we're having a faculty hiring freeze and there will be no raises because of the state budget. It just kind of comes at a bad time."
No kidding. The teacher's ain't happy? Who woulda thunk it? And did you imply that the teachers really are paid appropriately? Huh.
Then he went to the parking for calisthenics
ESPN.com has a story regarding Darrent Williams' mother visiting Broncos practice versus the Cowboys today. Williams, you may recall was killed by Roger Goodell unknown person(s) on New Years Day. This coming season would have been the guy's third in the NFL, yet he died in Javon Walker's arms after the limo they were in was shot up. Unbelievably tragic. Thankfully, Terrell Owens was there today to lend a helping hand and erase some of the pain:
'"It definitely puts life in perspective, your job in perspective, and it makes you realize what's most important for you," said Owens, who gave her a football. "Any time you lose a loved one, that's devastating."'
To which, Mrs. Williams replied, "What's this? Wow...A football... Yea, it's nice and all, but you realize my son was killed, right? ... No, no, I appreciate it, but what am I supposed to do with it? ... I know you're T.O., but seriously, my son's dead. What the fuck is this?"
It's about time for this
Barry Bonds can go to hell. Not just him (as he's worthy of his own post), but McGwire, Brady Anderson, Sammy Sosa, Palmeiro, Neifi Perez, etc., you too Jay Bell, heckuva year you had in '99! All you smug pricks! You know who else? Schilling, Clemens and everyone else whose misguided concern with their "legacy" has led them to altering not just their bodies but the sports landscape and social standards in general. So you didn't want to be role models? Then you wouldn't be where you are today without such status. Do you really mean that?
(Not going to hell: Ken Griffey Jr.)
As much as I'd love to sit here and point fingers, calling everyone "cheaters", I shouldn't do that. What most of these players were doing wasn't cheating, they were/are merely looking for any way to get an edge in their competitions. Boy, capitalism is wonderful. On a side note, the right to speak will forever be revoked from anyone claiming that these supplements don't improve one's abilities. If they didn't, then why would players use 'em?
Don't give me this "Oh it's 162 games, I'm tired" shit. 162 games? For what, an average of 3 hours a night? So 500 hours a year you're playing, sure, plus hundreds of hours of practice, I know, but are you going to sit there and tell me that you're running/exerting yourself for the entire time? Please, this is baseball we're talking about, you bat 4 times a game, chase down a couple balls in the outfield (hell, if you even play defense) and you're tired?
Want to know how long it takes most people to work 500 hours? 3 months. Somehow the rest of us poor saps make it through all right, whiners. Gee, maybe you shouldn't hit the damned bars every night, banging every ovulating dumpster in sight. It's your choice to do whatever you'd like in your free time, that's the beauty of life, but guess what? I get to judge you for it. Do your thing after the games, fine. Eat like crap, go ahead. But you're going to complain that you're tired? You know who else is tired? That guy. And her, the girl over there. Those people in the stands? They're tired too. We're all tired, ok?
Some athletes make unfathomable money due to their abilities (and intangibles) yet are still so insecure about their talent that they have to resort to shady supplements to increase their statistics (see: money making abilities). Way to lead youth sports down the road towards "prescription" drugs. I don't know the numbers, but who hasn't seen reports on how many high school kids are using steroids and the like? When we were in high school, we couldn't even get beer. Looking back, probably only one kid on our team used steroids which had such adverse effects on him that throwing the ball from 3rd base over to 1st became a godamned lesson in physics, trying to figure out where the thing was headed. His 'roid rage may have also prevented him from attending Ferris State on scholarship and instead attending woeful Wooster (pronounced "Worcester").
I don't know about you, but I feel better, mainly because I've stopped thinking about professional athletes for a bit. Hey, it ain't just baseball, we know every competition is full of people looking for any chance to succeed, the only difference is the integrity of the participants. Thankfully, the NFL & NBA are chock full of stand up role models that we don't have to worry about.
(Not going to hell: Ken Griffey Jr.)
As much as I'd love to sit here and point fingers, calling everyone "cheaters", I shouldn't do that. What most of these players were doing wasn't cheating, they were/are merely looking for any way to get an edge in their competitions. Boy, capitalism is wonderful. On a side note, the right to speak will forever be revoked from anyone claiming that these supplements don't improve one's abilities. If they didn't, then why would players use 'em?
Don't give me this "Oh it's 162 games, I'm tired" shit. 162 games? For what, an average of 3 hours a night? So 500 hours a year you're playing, sure, plus hundreds of hours of practice, I know, but are you going to sit there and tell me that you're running/exerting yourself for the entire time? Please, this is baseball we're talking about, you bat 4 times a game, chase down a couple balls in the outfield (hell, if you even play defense) and you're tired?
Want to know how long it takes most people to work 500 hours? 3 months. Somehow the rest of us poor saps make it through all right, whiners. Gee, maybe you shouldn't hit the damned bars every night, banging every ovulating dumpster in sight. It's your choice to do whatever you'd like in your free time, that's the beauty of life, but guess what? I get to judge you for it. Do your thing after the games, fine. Eat like crap, go ahead. But you're going to complain that you're tired? You know who else is tired? That guy. And her, the girl over there. Those people in the stands? They're tired too. We're all tired, ok?
Some athletes make unfathomable money due to their abilities (and intangibles) yet are still so insecure about their talent that they have to resort to shady supplements to increase their statistics (see: money making abilities). Way to lead youth sports down the road towards "prescription" drugs. I don't know the numbers, but who hasn't seen reports on how many high school kids are using steroids and the like? When we were in high school, we couldn't even get beer. Looking back, probably only one kid on our team used steroids which had such adverse effects on him that throwing the ball from 3rd base over to 1st became a godamned lesson in physics, trying to figure out where the thing was headed. His 'roid rage may have also prevented him from attending Ferris State on scholarship and instead attending woeful Wooster (pronounced "Worcester").
I don't know about you, but I feel better, mainly because I've stopped thinking about professional athletes for a bit. Hey, it ain't just baseball, we know every competition is full of people looking for any chance to succeed, the only difference is the integrity of the participants. Thankfully, the NFL & NBA are chock full of stand up role models that we don't have to worry about.
Quickies
Gotta do this one fast, but fret not, I'll waste more time later.
- The St. Paul Saints, an independent baseball team (in St. Paul, obviously) is having its twist on the current Mike Vick saga this coming Tuesday, A Rotta Love Night! As per the website:
"Take a bite outta Michael Vick!!! The first 1500 people attending this game receive a FREE MICHAEL VICK CHEW TOY!!!"
(http://arottalove.org/events.htm)
Should be fun.
- Big thanks to erm for the heads up about The Love Muscle being back. Nothing like heading back to the "city" where he's had his most success, expect him not to get off to a great start after the Annies get their hands on him again.
(Huh, apparently, they traded him again. Shit. Once upon a time, I tried to buy a game used Buffalo jersey of Branyan's. Lot of good that would have done me for one day. Like he couldn't play for the Tribe now? Lemme ask, how's Andy Marte turning out?)
To make up for the error in not realizing the Indians are short one big muscle, check out this link:
I'm so happy for him, he entirely deserves it
- What's this?
If you guessed my next ridiculous, inappropriate purchase, you're right! It's an inflatable Titanic slide! Tell you one thing, it's more exciting than an inflatable jumping castle/tree.
- The St. Paul Saints, an independent baseball team (in St. Paul, obviously) is having its twist on the current Mike Vick saga this coming Tuesday, A Rotta Love Night! As per the website:
"Take a bite outta Michael Vick!!! The first 1500 people attending this game receive a FREE MICHAEL VICK CHEW TOY!!!"
(http://arottalove.org/events.htm)
Should be fun.
- Big thanks to erm for the heads up about The Love Muscle being back. Nothing like heading back to the "city" where he's had his most success, expect him not to get off to a great start after the Annies get their hands on him again.
(Huh, apparently, they traded him again. Shit. Once upon a time, I tried to buy a game used Buffalo jersey of Branyan's. Lot of good that would have done me for one day. Like he couldn't play for the Tribe now? Lemme ask, how's Andy Marte turning out?)
To make up for the error in not realizing the Indians are short one big muscle, check out this link:
I'm so happy for him, he entirely deserves it
- What's this?
If you guessed my next ridiculous, inappropriate purchase, you're right! It's an inflatable Titanic slide! Tell you one thing, it's more exciting than an inflatable jumping castle/tree.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
The Love Muscle is Back!?!!??
This stunning news from MLB.com: The Indians have signed Russell Branyan to a minor league contract and assigned him to Buffalo. Branyan was batting a robust .197 with 7 HR's. And to think the Indians did not bother to issue a press release. Start printing those playoff tickets.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
He's not helping himself
Brady fucking Quinn. There, right there is the guy's nickname. Stop trying to come up with anything clever, it's over. Brady "Fucking" Quinn is how he'll forever be known. At least this man is earning his nickname.
Quinn, ND & Browns apologists, flash back 3+ months to the NFL draft. Saving Quinn the embarasment of falling out of the first round, the Browns sacrificed next year's round 1 pick to grab the guy that no one else wanted. Now this smug son of a bitch not only has the balls to charge 75 bucks and up for his goddamned autograph (look, prick, Monte Irvin didn't charge a cent and you want 75 dollars? Go to hell. What? Who's Monte Irvin? Sorry, forgot that ND doesn't care about black people.) but he's still not in Browns camp.
Seriously? You think you're good enough to start for an NFL team, yet you can't be bothered to show up for training camp? So what are you doing, practicing? Fuck no. I'm not even going to bother linking to the pictures of you partying - not just because I don't know but also you make me fucking sick. I hope someone introduces you to coke and E in the same night. Eat shit you prick.
Why am I supposed to root for you? Because you're a Cleveland Brown? No you aren't, you've refused to sign a contract getting you into camp. Oh, you want top 10 money? Why? You weren't drafted in the top 10, you went 22. Shit, I want top 10 money, but you want to bet I'd be on that godamned field just because one of the most loyal fanbases in the NFL believes I could play for them, at the most important positions? You're going to be booed beyond anything Tim Couch ever went through if you don't haul your gaping hole into Berea tomorrow.
Never thought I'd actually appreciate Tim Couch's time in town, but you're making me realize that at least he wanted to be there. The man relished his chance and wanted to succeed. What do you want? Recognition. Like Ted Washington said, "Remember, you ain't done nothing yet." He forgot to add that you'll never do anything. You're a piece of shit and you & I both know it. May you trade spots with Lee Smith's wife during a week while she's on her period.
Quinn, ND & Browns apologists, flash back 3+ months to the NFL draft. Saving Quinn the embarasment of falling out of the first round, the Browns sacrificed next year's round 1 pick to grab the guy that no one else wanted. Now this smug son of a bitch not only has the balls to charge 75 bucks and up for his goddamned autograph (look, prick, Monte Irvin didn't charge a cent and you want 75 dollars? Go to hell. What? Who's Monte Irvin? Sorry, forgot that ND doesn't care about black people.) but he's still not in Browns camp.
Seriously? You think you're good enough to start for an NFL team, yet you can't be bothered to show up for training camp? So what are you doing, practicing? Fuck no. I'm not even going to bother linking to the pictures of you partying - not just because I don't know but also you make me fucking sick. I hope someone introduces you to coke and E in the same night. Eat shit you prick.
Why am I supposed to root for you? Because you're a Cleveland Brown? No you aren't, you've refused to sign a contract getting you into camp. Oh, you want top 10 money? Why? You weren't drafted in the top 10, you went 22. Shit, I want top 10 money, but you want to bet I'd be on that godamned field just because one of the most loyal fanbases in the NFL believes I could play for them, at the most important positions? You're going to be booed beyond anything Tim Couch ever went through if you don't haul your gaping hole into Berea tomorrow.
Never thought I'd actually appreciate Tim Couch's time in town, but you're making me realize that at least he wanted to be there. The man relished his chance and wanted to succeed. What do you want? Recognition. Like Ted Washington said, "Remember, you ain't done nothing yet." He forgot to add that you'll never do anything. You're a piece of shit and you & I both know it. May you trade spots with Lee Smith's wife during a week while she's on her period.
Welcome Back!
All right, July is over, we can get back to blogging. Thanks for coming back after all this time. Unfortunately, this is going to take me a while to get through - two days ago I had surgery on my all important left hand. I'm unable to lift anything, put my hand below my heart, write (no shit!), grip a ball/bat or do anything else for which I'd need my left hand.
Thanks for all the well wishes and calls to make sure I was okay following the bridge collapse here in Minneapolis. I'm about 3 miles from the now infamous 35W bridge (by the way, 35W runs North/South. There's also a 35E, confusing? Yep!) yet haven't managed to make it down to the site last night or today. As far as I know, no one I know was on the bridge nor were friends & family of anyone I know. I've been over the bridge a handful of times, never thinking anything of it. Now? Well, how does one cross a bridge in this city without holding their breath, thinking "Shit, just get across, go, go, GO!"
Can you imagine having been one of the people on the bridge who survived? Maybe you're watching sections of the road in front of you start to drop suddenly, just falling from the horizon, realizing, "What the he--Wait, it's getting close---AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" WHAM!!! What about those that never saw it coming? How did everyone not break their tailbones? Unbelievable.
What a week for the Twin Cities. Obviously, the collapse last night is the only truly significant event, but over the past couple days, the sports fans around here have had Kevin Garnett taken from them, seen Luis Castillo traded - leading to Johan Santana questioning the direction of the Twins & his future with them plus his teammates backing him up, not to mention that after the collapse, fans were subjected to 10 innings of Twins/Royals baseball. (That's one hell of a long sentence)
It's odd to be around for this, while others are glued to the tv, trying to learn if they know anyone involved with yesterday's tragic accident, my detachment from the possibility of knowing someone affected has given me plenty of time to feel for the citizens here. From Monday's breaking news that KG might be leaving, to last night's bridge collapse, the locals have been subjected to nothing but frustration. Here's hoping it turns around.
Thanks for all the well wishes and calls to make sure I was okay following the bridge collapse here in Minneapolis. I'm about 3 miles from the now infamous 35W bridge (by the way, 35W runs North/South. There's also a 35E, confusing? Yep!) yet haven't managed to make it down to the site last night or today. As far as I know, no one I know was on the bridge nor were friends & family of anyone I know. I've been over the bridge a handful of times, never thinking anything of it. Now? Well, how does one cross a bridge in this city without holding their breath, thinking "Shit, just get across, go, go, GO!"
Can you imagine having been one of the people on the bridge who survived? Maybe you're watching sections of the road in front of you start to drop suddenly, just falling from the horizon, realizing, "What the he--Wait, it's getting close---AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" WHAM!!! What about those that never saw it coming? How did everyone not break their tailbones? Unbelievable.
What a week for the Twin Cities. Obviously, the collapse last night is the only truly significant event, but over the past couple days, the sports fans around here have had Kevin Garnett taken from them, seen Luis Castillo traded - leading to Johan Santana questioning the direction of the Twins & his future with them plus his teammates backing him up, not to mention that after the collapse, fans were subjected to 10 innings of Twins/Royals baseball. (That's one hell of a long sentence)
It's odd to be around for this, while others are glued to the tv, trying to learn if they know anyone involved with yesterday's tragic accident, my detachment from the possibility of knowing someone affected has given me plenty of time to feel for the citizens here. From Monday's breaking news that KG might be leaving, to last night's bridge collapse, the locals have been subjected to nothing but frustration. Here's hoping it turns around.
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