Trust me, this past Tuesday changed me. I witnessed something which may require a running account of the goings on - it was that entertaining. You'll read about it sometime.
I'd initially started a blog post surrounding my first Twins game, but it's been rudely interrupted by the night's NBA proceedings. Sure, we're only at the point where Carolina just took Brendan Wright, but were there not food in front of me to this point, I'd be about 2 pages deep into this thing already. Even with this year's, allegedly, intriguing/interesting/exciting, draft, I just can't get excited. Not having draft picks picks is like a hand job from a fat chick; sure, something's happening, but you just want to be past it so you can get on with your night.
That being said, we just had the first WNBA player ever selected - Joakim Noah to the Bulls! That's gotta be the most flat chested shemale I've ever seen. I'm against domestic violence, can we please hunt down the person who punched him/her in the mouth and seek retribution?
I still don't understand why Oden & Durant were always the Top 2 players in this draft. I don't care that I've never seen Durant play; I just don't get what makes these guys such "sure things". I said it before, but it's like the outcome has already been determined for these guy's careers. Why even play the games?
Rachel "Hoover" Nichols. Ma'am, you're glowing. Whatever you've been doing down there in Charlotte, I'd have thought you'd get some bigger leads out of it. Must not be using the DSL you've got to maximum potential. Plus, don't think it's slipped my notice that you've spent a lot of time around Michael Jordan. Next time, clean up your lipstick before going on TV.
I'm not sure what to think about Jeff Green to the Celtics. On one hand, I hate the fanbase surrounding Boston sports teams even more than Buckeye fans and would have loved the Chinese guy going there, on the other hand, STOP COMPLAINING ALREADY! There is no satisfying Bostonians; their inferiority complex is unrivaled. The city may be the most historically relevant U.S. locale, but having been eclipsed by New York's money, they've got to bitch about everything. Back on point, whenever the Celtics blurb scrolls up the screen, it mentions something about a trade rumor of "Jeff Green to Seattle". Awesome. Though that's not exactly a trade, that's a giveaway. What's Boston getting in return? Ray Allen? Please, like you'd draft a talented player & ship him with another good young guy and the pride of Miami U. for a max contract? Oh. If you don't mind, I've got to make a call... Maybe Danny Ainge would part with Tony Allen & pieces of the parquet floor for these chicken tenders.
This is it for now, but just so you know, I'm in a bar in Minneapolis watching the draft. The laughs/applause when Milwaukee took Yi was almost bigger than the T'Wolves taking Corey Brewer.
I'm getting scared, Atlanta looks like they're trying to put together a competitive young team. I'm out.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Marketing slogans you won't soon see: Fosters beer
Progressing through the World Beer Tour at the local establishment, I've tasted some pretty good and awfully shitty beers. As I was in the mood for one final night of self deprivation, I subjected myself to some Parrot's Bay shit (think Smirnoff Ice for masochists), Guinness (oh Guinness is refined, classy & full of body? Wrong, it's like giving a rimjob to a elephant with IBS) and Fosters. I did reward myself with a Hazed & Infused, but that doesn't eliminate the taste of rotten labia from my lips.
Never before has one beer inspired so many remarks as this one can of Fosters. Seriously, unless you've ever sat at a bar drinking one of these oversized cans, you haven't tested the limits to which you'll push your endurance and integrity. If the following doesn't convince you that your life is incomplete without the experience that is Fosters, well sir, you are far from a beer snob; rather, you aren't wearing your Golden Straightjacket.
-Fosters; tastes like the zoo
-Fosters; tastes like Oklahoma
-Fosters; smells like penis
-Fosters; like you're 8 years old, giving hand jobs to the bus driver again
-Fosters; for those who like their beer with hay, not hops
-Fosters; never will a beer can make you feel sexually inadequate like ours
-Fosters; ain't no one being f'ed by this can
-Fosters; you're kidding, right?
-Fosters; twice the size for only a buck more
It's late, I can't remember the rest. Anyway, Fosters sucks.
Never before has one beer inspired so many remarks as this one can of Fosters. Seriously, unless you've ever sat at a bar drinking one of these oversized cans, you haven't tested the limits to which you'll push your endurance and integrity. If the following doesn't convince you that your life is incomplete without the experience that is Fosters, well sir, you are far from a beer snob; rather, you aren't wearing your Golden Straightjacket.
-Fosters; tastes like the zoo
-Fosters; tastes like Oklahoma
-Fosters; smells like penis
-Fosters; like you're 8 years old, giving hand jobs to the bus driver again
-Fosters; for those who like their beer with hay, not hops
-Fosters; never will a beer can make you feel sexually inadequate like ours
-Fosters; ain't no one being f'ed by this can
-Fosters; you're kidding, right?
-Fosters; twice the size for only a buck more
It's late, I can't remember the rest. Anyway, Fosters sucks.
Let your mind wander
If only because I'm in the mood to be a bit self indulgent after the truly shitty evening I've had, here comes a story which, if I could openly share all details, could be one for all time. Definitely not about sports.
All things end badly, or else they wouldn't end, or so I've heard. Well, not only have I sworn off most Irish women, but now it's time to add the Swedes as well. Intuition's a bitch - for the longest time I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I'm "sharing" my lady friend. That's not a pleasant experience, you can tell what's going on but it's a bit unfair to make allegations without proof.
Well after watching the monstrosity on ABC tonight, I got a call from her asking if I'd seen the game. Uh, yea, of course - on TV at the gym while I was running. Wait - this doesn't make sense, she doesn't have TV. Apparently she'd seen it with a friend of hers. Needless to say I was more than a bit disappointed. Allegedly (and I'm almost willing to give her this one) this is just a friend that she trains with, but what the hell? Seriously? So in a huff I went to her place to pickup my laptop that she'd been borrowing for a few days.
Not to bitch and bore you with all the details, but after expressing my disappointment and asking some questions it came to light that, once again, intuition is the strongest sense. When someone starts a sentence with, "I've been trying to decide if I should tell you something..." they usually don't follow with "I've hired a hitman. He's going to take out Barry Bonds." I didn't need the full history of her relationship with the guy. Nor did I really need to know that when he comes back in town she'd be exploring her feelings for him again. As I was already staggering, I asked if there was anything else I needed to know; kids I don't know about, diseases, debilitating illnesses, murders? No? Ok then. Wait, what? ANOTHER GUY??? You have got to be kidding me.
Surprisingly, following these revelations, I left. Now things get awesome. As I said, she'd been borrowing my computer for a few days as she can get a wireless signal but has no working computer of her own. You need to know that one of my biggest attractions to her is her, uh, openness and ability when we're alone. Well, here's a suggestion for you all to keep in mind for pretty much the rest of your lives - if you use someone else's computer for your own leisure, it may be a good idea to delete the sites you visit. She's shared some of her fantasies so seeing some of these web addresses wasn't a complete surprise, but jesus, how much porn can one woman look at in a day?
Hey, yea, also Tiava is categorized. Turns out she digs of the same things as I, but some of the other categories - yowza! Oh, yea and if you're into any of the anonymous real life hookup sites, you may want to delete those links as well.
So I'm single again.
All things end badly, or else they wouldn't end, or so I've heard. Well, not only have I sworn off most Irish women, but now it's time to add the Swedes as well. Intuition's a bitch - for the longest time I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I'm "sharing" my lady friend. That's not a pleasant experience, you can tell what's going on but it's a bit unfair to make allegations without proof.
Well after watching the monstrosity on ABC tonight, I got a call from her asking if I'd seen the game. Uh, yea, of course - on TV at the gym while I was running. Wait - this doesn't make sense, she doesn't have TV. Apparently she'd seen it with a friend of hers. Needless to say I was more than a bit disappointed. Allegedly (and I'm almost willing to give her this one) this is just a friend that she trains with, but what the hell? Seriously? So in a huff I went to her place to pickup my laptop that she'd been borrowing for a few days.
Not to bitch and bore you with all the details, but after expressing my disappointment and asking some questions it came to light that, once again, intuition is the strongest sense. When someone starts a sentence with, "I've been trying to decide if I should tell you something..." they usually don't follow with "I've hired a hitman. He's going to take out Barry Bonds." I didn't need the full history of her relationship with the guy. Nor did I really need to know that when he comes back in town she'd be exploring her feelings for him again. As I was already staggering, I asked if there was anything else I needed to know; kids I don't know about, diseases, debilitating illnesses, murders? No? Ok then. Wait, what? ANOTHER GUY??? You have got to be kidding me.
Surprisingly, following these revelations, I left. Now things get awesome. As I said, she'd been borrowing my computer for a few days as she can get a wireless signal but has no working computer of her own. You need to know that one of my biggest attractions to her is her, uh, openness and ability when we're alone. Well, here's a suggestion for you all to keep in mind for pretty much the rest of your lives - if you use someone else's computer for your own leisure, it may be a good idea to delete the sites you visit. She's shared some of her fantasies so seeing some of these web addresses wasn't a complete surprise, but jesus, how much porn can one woman look at in a day?
Hey, yea, also Tiava is categorized. Turns out she digs of the same things as I, but some of the other categories - yowza! Oh, yea and if you're into any of the anonymous real life hookup sites, you may want to delete those links as well.
So I'm single again.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Careful what you wish for
Back in the days when Chris Mills, Terrell Brandon, Bob Sura, Dan Majerle, Bobby Phils, Michael Cage & Tyrone Hill were pulling in big minutes for the Cavs, down towards the end of the bench sat Donny Marshall.
I was emotionally torn concerning Donny Marshall; on one hand, he sucked, although it looked like basketball talent ran in the family. I firmly believed that had the team gotten the other Marshall brother, we'd be rooting for a contender (instead of getting swept by the Knicks before not making the playoffs 7 straight years). Well, when I'm wrong, I'm really wrong.
This is nothing new, you guys have been hearing/discussing it all day, but why the hell was Larry Hughes on the floor to start the game? After seeing Tony Parker absolutely blow past him, Hughes should have been relegated to towel waving on the bench for the remainder of the series.
I was emotionally torn concerning Donny Marshall; on one hand, he sucked, although it looked like basketball talent ran in the family. I firmly believed that had the team gotten the other Marshall brother, we'd be rooting for a contender (instead of getting swept by the Knicks before not making the playoffs 7 straight years). Well, when I'm wrong, I'm really wrong.
This is nothing new, you guys have been hearing/discussing it all day, but why the hell was Larry Hughes on the floor to start the game? After seeing Tony Parker absolutely blow past him, Hughes should have been relegated to towel waving on the bench for the remainder of the series.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Piss off, Curt
Flashback to 1997: July 7th to be exact. I'm at Jacob's Field, lucky enough to be at one of the most entertaining MLB moments of the season: the festivities the day before the All Star Game, specifically the Homerun Derby. One of my father's friends hooked our family up with seats between the Tribe dugout & home plate, about 8 rows up from the field.
The day included a celebrity softball game which pitted Jonathan Silverman and LeAnn Rimes' squad against Zack Morris & co. Plus, we got to watch the All Star workouts. Ever show up 2 hours early for a baseball game and watch them teams stretch, play catch and take BP? Ever do it twice? Right, so what makes you think you'd want to pay to see it without them playing an actual game? These are the days when Jeff Blauser, Royce Clayton, Tony Womack, Bobby Jones, Brady Anderson, Joey Cora, Jeff Cirillo, Pat Hentgen (Toronto's Charles Nagy), Justin Thompson & Jose Rosado were making "All Star" appearances.
Anyway, Tribe fans, during the run in the '90's, what was it that everyone said the team needed to win it all? Pitching. Nagy would never be able to it on his own; Dennis Martinez & Orel Hershiser were successful, but long past their primes; Bartolo Colon came on too little, too late & Jaret Wright was busy plowing his way though Brush's cheerleaders. Dammit, if only there were one more guy. one more person wanting to take the ball on the biggest of stages and win a championship, if not always for the noblest of reasons. Enter the slobbish prick I'm watching most of the day's workout.
In 1996 & '97, Indians fans were teased with the constant rumors of bringing young stud Curt Schilling to town. This week's honorary punch in the face goes to John Hart for acquiring Ken Hill instead of the future Hall Of Famer. Really, the rumors of getting Curt Schilling were frequent and, at times, convincing. Imagine for a second, having a selfish, young Curt Schilling on the mid to late '90's Indians.
The 1997 All Star break may have been the climax of the trade rumors & even though I think at the time I realized it wouldn't come to fruition, I couldn't help myself from taking pictures of the arrogant bastard wearing number 38. Watching this SOB walk around the field like he owned the place (chest puffed out, looking down his nose at everyone), I realized that it might not be worth it. Do I really want to sacrifice the pride of my team for a guy who I can't stand but might help win it all?
This tub o' lard has proven himself to a self absorbed hired gun, worried more about his "legacy" than the larger reality of what he's really accomplishing. Am I jealous that he brought a WS title to another long suffering area? Yes and no: sure, I wanted to win, but not with him. After having another decade of this guy behind us, we get to look back and see what could have been. From the desperation of jumping from winner to winner, to the spokesman deals, to the bloody sock, to his manipulating blog and need to always be available for interviews & TV appearances, he has proven to care more about the name on the back of the jersey than the one on the front.
Would I want to Browns to win the Super Bowl if it meant taking Terrell Owens with him at his worst? Probably not and the same goes for the Tribe & Schilling. I can't stand the guy. Had Slider or Brady Anderson choked Schilling like an Asian with Lexington Steele I'd have been ok with that.
You know what, Curt Schilling? When I'm talking to my friends' kids about baseball before they were born, your name will probably come up. Want to know what I'm going to tell them, what your legacy is going to be? You were a prick. Yea, you won, but everyone hated you. I'm glad you never pitched for my team, even though we could have won with you. Piss off, Curt.
The day included a celebrity softball game which pitted Jonathan Silverman and LeAnn Rimes' squad against Zack Morris & co. Plus, we got to watch the All Star workouts. Ever show up 2 hours early for a baseball game and watch them teams stretch, play catch and take BP? Ever do it twice? Right, so what makes you think you'd want to pay to see it without them playing an actual game? These are the days when Jeff Blauser, Royce Clayton, Tony Womack, Bobby Jones, Brady Anderson, Joey Cora, Jeff Cirillo, Pat Hentgen (Toronto's Charles Nagy), Justin Thompson & Jose Rosado were making "All Star" appearances.
Anyway, Tribe fans, during the run in the '90's, what was it that everyone said the team needed to win it all? Pitching. Nagy would never be able to it on his own; Dennis Martinez & Orel Hershiser were successful, but long past their primes; Bartolo Colon came on too little, too late & Jaret Wright was busy plowing his way though Brush's cheerleaders. Dammit, if only there were one more guy. one more person wanting to take the ball on the biggest of stages and win a championship, if not always for the noblest of reasons. Enter the slobbish prick I'm watching most of the day's workout.
In 1996 & '97, Indians fans were teased with the constant rumors of bringing young stud Curt Schilling to town. This week's honorary punch in the face goes to John Hart for acquiring Ken Hill instead of the future Hall Of Famer. Really, the rumors of getting Curt Schilling were frequent and, at times, convincing. Imagine for a second, having a selfish, young Curt Schilling on the mid to late '90's Indians.
The 1997 All Star break may have been the climax of the trade rumors & even though I think at the time I realized it wouldn't come to fruition, I couldn't help myself from taking pictures of the arrogant bastard wearing number 38. Watching this SOB walk around the field like he owned the place (chest puffed out, looking down his nose at everyone), I realized that it might not be worth it. Do I really want to sacrifice the pride of my team for a guy who I can't stand but might help win it all?
This tub o' lard has proven himself to a self absorbed hired gun, worried more about his "legacy" than the larger reality of what he's really accomplishing. Am I jealous that he brought a WS title to another long suffering area? Yes and no: sure, I wanted to win, but not with him. After having another decade of this guy behind us, we get to look back and see what could have been. From the desperation of jumping from winner to winner, to the spokesman deals, to the bloody sock, to his manipulating blog and need to always be available for interviews & TV appearances, he has proven to care more about the name on the back of the jersey than the one on the front.
Would I want to Browns to win the Super Bowl if it meant taking Terrell Owens with him at his worst? Probably not and the same goes for the Tribe & Schilling. I can't stand the guy. Had Slider or Brady Anderson choked Schilling like an Asian with Lexington Steele I'd have been ok with that.
You know what, Curt Schilling? When I'm talking to my friends' kids about baseball before they were born, your name will probably come up. Want to know what I'm going to tell them, what your legacy is going to be? You were a prick. Yea, you won, but everyone hated you. I'm glad you never pitched for my team, even though we could have won with you. Piss off, Curt.
He's still no Cleo Lemon
Terrific, Trent Green just went to the Dolphins. Why? They've already got two washed up quarterbacks on their roster. Oh, they're trading Culpepper, huh? Yea, the guy who is so shitty that they made this trade to begin with, they think they have much leverage with any team? Jesus, if they get anything above a 4th round pick, I'll be impressed. So why trade for Green? Am I the only one who thinks Joey Heisman could still be a serviceable quarterback in the league?
To make a run in any sport these days, your franchise either has to hit rock bottom or be a consistent contender; if you're crap, you get high draft picks and can justify trading current studs for future stars - if you're a contender, players come to you. The 'fins are neither - they suck, but not enough for a top 5 pick and they still aren't a playoff contender, what's the sense in trading for someone to make you marginally better? 8-8 might actually be worse than 6-10; Why give fans false hope while losing out on a (slightly) higher pick?.
Trent Green is going to be 37 when the season opens and this guy is going to have a better arm than Culpepper? Doesn't Daunte have an incredible "air it out" type of arm? Shit, if only his team had a raw talent who can't run routes but has impressive speed... You get Trent Green on your team, you want receivers who will be where they're supposed to be when they're supposed to be there. Culpepper needs guys who can run under his passes; simply, true athletes. What direction is this team going?
Let's say this trade had gone down before the draft, would Miami have taken Ginn? Why get a piece then change the puzzle? Besides for my own pleasure, WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE BRADY QUINN?
To make a run in any sport these days, your franchise either has to hit rock bottom or be a consistent contender; if you're crap, you get high draft picks and can justify trading current studs for future stars - if you're a contender, players come to you. The 'fins are neither - they suck, but not enough for a top 5 pick and they still aren't a playoff contender, what's the sense in trading for someone to make you marginally better? 8-8 might actually be worse than 6-10; Why give fans false hope while losing out on a (slightly) higher pick?.
Trent Green is going to be 37 when the season opens and this guy is going to have a better arm than Culpepper? Doesn't Daunte have an incredible "air it out" type of arm? Shit, if only his team had a raw talent who can't run routes but has impressive speed... You get Trent Green on your team, you want receivers who will be where they're supposed to be when they're supposed to be there. Culpepper needs guys who can run under his passes; simply, true athletes. What direction is this team going?
Let's say this trade had gone down before the draft, would Miami have taken Ginn? Why get a piece then change the puzzle? Besides for my own pleasure, WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE BRADY QUINN?
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
I should have bought it
Yea, this post is going real well, it's only gotten f'd up twice already - the thing is cursed and you'll soon find out why.
But first, one of the best things about Minneapolis is the music scene. Not only does the area draw acts that I actually want to see (I'm on my way out the door to go to a show right now), but the numerous independent music stores give hope to all who heave at the thought of another Best Buy/Circuit City/Virgin Megastore, etc. My favorite being Cheapo - it's massive, cheap, carries both used & new cds and dvds, plus it's only two blocks from my place.
So I'm in there today looking for the Survivorman DVD when I turned the corner to see this cd staring back at me:
As tempting as it was, I couldn't throw down the $1.95 for it. Seriously, check out that guy's smile, he really loves his Savior. There's no way that's the guy's real hair.
One more day.
But first, one of the best things about Minneapolis is the music scene. Not only does the area draw acts that I actually want to see (I'm on my way out the door to go to a show right now), but the numerous independent music stores give hope to all who heave at the thought of another Best Buy/Circuit City/Virgin Megastore, etc. My favorite being Cheapo - it's massive, cheap, carries both used & new cds and dvds, plus it's only two blocks from my place.
So I'm in there today looking for the Survivorman DVD when I turned the corner to see this cd staring back at me:
As tempting as it was, I couldn't throw down the $1.95 for it. Seriously, check out that guy's smile, he really loves his Savior. There's no way that's the guy's real hair.
One more day.
Monday, June 4, 2007
And the Tribe is in first place!
Yea I'll make it three straight Cavs posts this week, but how often to the Cavs win the Eastern Conference Title. I'm not going to talk about the game itself or what it means for the fans or the city. Lets talk about what it means for the two people who deserve a title more than anyone else associated with this franchise. Joe Tait and Austin Carr.
These two guys have been through all the shit (tons) and all the shine (not so much) associated with this franchise. Tait has been here since the beginning and Carr has been here almost as long. Joe Tait is the best play-by-play man in the business and Austin Carr may be the worst color man, but god damn does he love his Cavs.
So here's to the two guys that are probably the most invested in this team. Finally something to enjoy. So in the words of the immortal Jake Taylor: "Well i guess there's only one thing left to do. Win the whole Fucking thing."
Go Cavs
These two guys have been through all the shit (tons) and all the shine (not so much) associated with this franchise. Tait has been here since the beginning and Carr has been here almost as long. Joe Tait is the best play-by-play man in the business and Austin Carr may be the worst color man, but god damn does he love his Cavs.
So here's to the two guys that are probably the most invested in this team. Finally something to enjoy. So in the words of the immortal Jake Taylor: "Well i guess there's only one thing left to do. Win the whole Fucking thing."
Go Cavs
Sunday, June 3, 2007
I actually got Joe Tait on the radio here last night
Unbelievable (un·be·liev·a·ble) adj.
1. Not to be believed; incredible
2. My most often word used last night
What the hell is going on here? Price, Harper, Nance, Daugherty, Hot Rod & Ehlo couldn't pull it off, but TheBron & Boobie might? No freakin' way. I'm not saying they can't, just "wow". Nothing about this makes sense. The Tribe can't win a World Series, the Browns can't win a Super Bowl, let alone get to one, but the Cavs might win an NBA title? Really, who saw that happening before the LBJ lottery?
First person to use any form of the word "cursed" and Cleveland will be asked to leave. Is a Cavs title just what the city needs to believe, "Yes, we can do this; no longer are we building our hopes up, just to expect to have them dashed right at the worst moment"? I was literally speechless last night after the game. I've got no TV in my place here in Minneapolis, so I had to go to a bar to catch the end of it. After the final buzzer, I'm looking around the place realizing that few others in the place even noticed the game was on. I exchanged some handshakes with the guy next to me and realized I had to get out of there - it just wasn't right. Here's a Cleveland team advancing to the championship and I had not a single person with whom I could share the moment.
I called a friend for directions to her place and it finally dawned on me that I was unable to speak. She kept asking if I was drunk, but after only one PBR, no, that wasn't it - my mind simply couldn't comprehend what had happened. Cleveland? The Cavs? NBA Finals? This LeBron James thing is actually progressing as expected; what the hell is going on here? When I finally got over to my friend's place, I just sat there on the couch, stunned. I literally couldn't put thoughts into words; you could have dumped a pitcher of water on me and I'd have just looked up at you with the biggest, stupid grin on my face. Every word that eventually did make it out was a whisper, for I was worried that I was on the brink of just exploding, "Don't you get it?! This isn't right! Cleveland might actually win something!! DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND???"
No, I don't live and die with the Cavs; for me, they'll never again be on the same level as the Indians or the Browns, but if my city is about to win something, you can bet your ass I'll be at home to celebrate it. If the Cavs look to be on the brink of actually winning it all, there's no way in hell I'll be watching the game alone in Minneapolis. Cleveland, hopefully I'll see you soon.
1. Not to be believed; incredible
2. My most often word used last night
What the hell is going on here? Price, Harper, Nance, Daugherty, Hot Rod & Ehlo couldn't pull it off, but TheBron & Boobie might? No freakin' way. I'm not saying they can't, just "wow". Nothing about this makes sense. The Tribe can't win a World Series, the Browns can't win a Super Bowl, let alone get to one, but the Cavs might win an NBA title? Really, who saw that happening before the LBJ lottery?
First person to use any form of the word "cursed" and Cleveland will be asked to leave. Is a Cavs title just what the city needs to believe, "Yes, we can do this; no longer are we building our hopes up, just to expect to have them dashed right at the worst moment"? I was literally speechless last night after the game. I've got no TV in my place here in Minneapolis, so I had to go to a bar to catch the end of it. After the final buzzer, I'm looking around the place realizing that few others in the place even noticed the game was on. I exchanged some handshakes with the guy next to me and realized I had to get out of there - it just wasn't right. Here's a Cleveland team advancing to the championship and I had not a single person with whom I could share the moment.
I called a friend for directions to her place and it finally dawned on me that I was unable to speak. She kept asking if I was drunk, but after only one PBR, no, that wasn't it - my mind simply couldn't comprehend what had happened. Cleveland? The Cavs? NBA Finals? This LeBron James thing is actually progressing as expected; what the hell is going on here? When I finally got over to my friend's place, I just sat there on the couch, stunned. I literally couldn't put thoughts into words; you could have dumped a pitcher of water on me and I'd have just looked up at you with the biggest, stupid grin on my face. Every word that eventually did make it out was a whisper, for I was worried that I was on the brink of just exploding, "Don't you get it?! This isn't right! Cleveland might actually win something!! DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND???"
No, I don't live and die with the Cavs; for me, they'll never again be on the same level as the Indians or the Browns, but if my city is about to win something, you can bet your ass I'll be at home to celebrate it. If the Cavs look to be on the brink of actually winning it all, there's no way in hell I'll be watching the game alone in Minneapolis. Cleveland, hopefully I'll see you soon.
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